Still alive and kicking...or trying to at least! LOL!

Well, we are moved into the new house and I love it...now if I could just get everything in it's right place and a place for everything...that would make me ALOT happier!!! LOL!

I've been having some problems getting my meds from the speciality pharmacy this month...so the last two weekends have been literally nightmares! First off was the Letaris didn't get sent when it was suppose too and now my Revatio wasn't shipped when they said it was...so I'm working on 1 and 1/2 doses for the whole weekend of that one! That's 1 1/2 doses out of 6 doses for 2 days! This should really be a fun weekend with me doing nothing but sitting on the couch! It's now 10:56 PM and I can't get to sleep for another night...it's been like that for about a month or so now. I don't know what is happening, but it's wearing me down fast. BH won't give up easily on me and my mind is really going in to overdrive on some things and forgetting on others. The other day I forgot to change my Flolan for 2 hours after the 8 hours were up and it ran dry on me...it wasn't good...but at least the Revatio kept me from feeling really bad. I've done that several nights when BH has had to be to work earlier than my med change...he wanted me to change the times so he would be able to change it when he got up...but now he's been leaving earlier and I've been having troubles sleeping till about an hour b4 he has to leave and by the time 3 AM gets hear...I'm too out of it to hear my alarm on my cellphone go off. So, it takes hearing the alarm on the pump to go off...and then sometimes I can't hear that either...sometimes I just happen to wake up in time to change it. I've been lucky...God is watching out for this soul...but I sometimes wonder why? What's my purpose? I can't clean my house and the girls don't need me...it's the other way around now...Becca's living in Topeka now and has her own life...she loves it except for the times she's bored to death and has to resort back to calling good old mom! LOL! And Elicia stays at her friends' house. BH goes to work and comes home and sleeps...and I can't even walk the dogs because they have too much energy for me and they end up dragging me around.

Can't bend over and pick anything up right now cause my SOB is getting bad again...so what do I do? I can't clean my house...so I whine about it. As if the Bible study I went to on Thursday nite didn't teach me about complaining about what is going on in our lives...and just praise God for what we do have. Which I try to do when my mind let's me remember too. That's the problem anymore...I can't remember a whole lot. My family doesn't even trust me to mix my Flolan anymore either...how's that for a big catcher! I'm so out of it nowadays that they won't let me mix...LOL!!!

Well, I guess I should get off of the pity wagon for now and go try to at least sleep or watch tv for a bit and see if my mind can unwind some more...I have a pic of the new house and will post that soon...just wanted to let you know that I'm still here.

Alive and kicking...I hope! If I can lift that leg...lol!

God bless,

Sue

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Gone private...

Hey, just thought I would tell all my fellow Ph'ers that I haven't disappeared...I've just gone private...I felt as tho my thoughts needed to be mine or whomever I chose to let read them...so hence forth...they will be. I will sometimes post a public one to let all the others kow how I'm doing...but other than that...zip, nana, nothing! Sorry everyone else. If you are a Ph'er...and would like to know my secrets...lol! Please email me and I will let you in on it...hehe!!! Until later!

God bless,

Sue

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My baby got married today!!!!

Well, she went and did it! My Becca went and got married today at 3pm! She is officially Rebecca Oden now. I wasn't there to see it...it's been snowing and the roads are dangerous...she got married at his parent's house. I'm so happy for her. She is also pregnant and due in July...she loves kids...just hope she knows what she's in for.

Everyone here is snowed in...pretty much...BH has been going to work...but I'm not sticking more than my foot out the door! It's too darn cold out there for me! There was a bad 40 car wreck here in St. Joe yesterday...one of the lady's from church was in it...she broke a rib and her sternum....will be in the hospital for awhile.

My nephew's girlfriend had her baby also yesterday...Joshua Allen Amos...he weighed in at 8 lbs 1 oz and 19 1/2 inches long. I haven't been there yet...the reason stated above. My sister says I need to go out there and visit so she can have a pic of me with him...it will have to wait till he gets out and they can bring him to me.

I have a bad sinus infection and hopefully the antibiotic will get rid of it...here's praying!

Well, Elicia made supper...and it's ready...gotta go eat! Talk soon.

God bless and Merry Christmas!

Sue

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Cold, Colder, and Bitterly COLD!!!!

That's how the weather men have been describing it for the last few days or weeks around the midwest area! You know what???? I'm just about sick to death of all that nasty white stuff that is caked all over the place outside my house!!! Not to mention the darned windchill factor!!! What's with this -13 give or take...it's too frigging cold to be sticking any part of anyone's body out any door for anything!!! That means me!!! LOL!!! Not counting a few days out to the docs...or one or two days to Walmart for medicine...most of the last 2 1/2 months have been spent couped up in this darn nice (but feeling boxed in!) house! LOL!!!

Don't you ever wonder if MOther Nature is having a PMS moment and taking it out on us? Boy, does someone have a touchy figure...lol!

Well, Becca and Heath (her hubby) were here to visit for the weekend. It was great to have her here. I enjoyed it...we ended up on Sunday night watching all three of the Left Behind movies! That was great....but Becca started hurting and went to my waterbed for a nap...lol! Mike(BH) laid on the sofa catnapping! But it was a nice evening all around.

Other than that...not much has been happening. Oh yeah, I'm now back on Tracleer...hoping that I can get back to my old self again and get to movin'!!! I didn't breathe too well on the Letaris. And so we're going back. Something has to work.

So anyway...now that I'm almost gossiped about all that and that's what Rachael Ray talked about this morning...lol...Elicia now has two jobs and Patrick(her bf) has a job too. Hopfully the second one works out.
They want to be able to get their own place after they save up the money...I'm praying for the best in all the situations.

It's tough just starting. I should know...nothing was handed to me when I first moved out.
Well, I think sleep is finally over taking me...I will say to you all...have a very goodnight and sleep tight. My words are starting to not make sense to me...so I better go for now.

God bless,

Sue Mace

P.S. will try to do more posting sooner when things die down.  Aho people.

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Break in the nasty weather for a few days anyway! LOL!

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Empty nest...or so I thought!

Well, just as we prepared for my youngest to fly the coup, we thought that it would be just us and the few animals that we had...you know the ones...Scrappy, Rylie, Moonshine (the cat we paid over $300 for a torn ligament in his back leg), Tweety, Pearl, and the 2 Bettas...along comes a tough decision to make. Should we take on a new baby? This one is 4 months old, very hyper...wakes us up at all hours of the night...has stinky poops and pees all the time...we are always feeding her...now we had to figure out if we really wanted to adopt a new baby into our family...we just had the last child leave the nest to live on her own...why should we take on more...why not enjoy the comfy life we could live without taking on more? Because how can we let this sweet thing be negleted (sp?), or given away to ppl who wouldn't take good care of her...so, we decided that we would take on this new endeavor.

So, who is this new baby you might ask? It's about a 75 lb. Saint Benard...her name is Feona. She thinks that Rylie, our 18 lb. Jack Russell Terrier, is her mom...and Rylie thinks she is!!! LOL!!!

It has been a trying and somewhat fun experience. As she continues to grow...it will get somewhat tougher...but we will see.

I've started back at Pulmonary Rehab...I have been gone for 4 months and am starting almost over from scratch...it was tough for my joints on Thursday...I started on that day...then went to Topeka to be with Becca the next day and then came home on that same day...it was a long 2 days! LOL!

Well...not much else is going on...so I'll go for now.

I hope everyone is having good weather...sorry about the flooding Annie...I kinda know how you feel! We've had that problem b4...and that scare just last week with the melting snow!

God bless,

Sue

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One MONTH???? Oh my!!!!

That's the lastest news! Mike's having neck surgery in a week and a half. They are doing a disc replacement and he will be off for an entire month! Oh MY!!! What will the matter be?? He will be on the move even tho he will be on the injured party list. He's not the type to lay around doing nothing. He has a herniated disc in his neck that is affecting his right hand and arm...so they are having to get this surgery done now! With him home...he'll be wanting to go all the time. I won't. I'm a home body now and enjoy just hanging around and not doing awhole lot. Reserving my energy for better things.

I did a booboo yesterday...I went without my Flolan for aboutr 30 mintues and even with the Revatio and Tracleer in my system...I still had problems with PH symptoms. Altho telling that to my insurance casemanger was like talking to a break wall. She just kept asking me "Why didn't you have your O2 on?' She didn't understand that the O2 wouldn't have helped that much...what I needed was my Flolan. They think I'm stable...but how can you be stable on a progressive disease? They just don't understand. They think I'm stable because I refuse to go to the ER all the time...or go to the doctor when I'm not feeling good. Like they know a whole lot about this disease here. Duh!!!

I just found out yesterday what my grandbaby is!!! It's a girl!!! They are naming her Jeanna Sue!!! I love that name...of course I came up with it...lol! It's a part of my name, his mom's name and Becca's middle name. So, we love it alot! It's got a nice ring to it. I now know what kind of clothes to buy! I'm going to spoil her rotten!!! LOL!

I guess I better head outside and enjoy the nice day while it's here...they are calling for some nasty weather this weekend. Maybe even tonight!

Hope you all are having some nice days. Talk soon!

God bless,

Sue

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SOB and weight gain!

Where does that get me? Well, according to my doc...sleep apnea! Arggggggggggggg! I've been to tired and SOB to do anything but pee and eat...lol...and of course sleep thru the day and stay up late cause I've gotten too much sleep thru the day. I have to build my energy back up and also now I have to go for a sleep study. When does it all end! Waiting for the appointment to be made for the sleep study so I can get that over with. And then hopefully everything will straighten out then. I hope to go back to rehab this week and with the nice weather on the way...maybe even start walking the dogs some. I just have to get used to wearing my O2 for awhile so I can do stuff. I still have the cough that I had months ago. But they said that my lungs were clear. Something is wrong...just don't know what. The PH doc said that we are back at square one...hope he tells the insurance company that. They think I'm stable...haha!!! Little do they know! I pulled a fast one on them.

I forgot to tell you all while in the hospital two weeks ago...I got to see Hairspray with John Travolta...that has got to be my all time favorite movie!!! LOL!

Anyways, I'm glad spring is here...now if the temps would stay up to a nice warm 60's or 70's...that would make me happy and I could spend more time outside!

Have a nice rest or the weekend! Talk soon!

God bless,

Sue

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So tired....

Well, it's been alittle over a week since Mike(bh) had his surgery...he's driving me crazy!!! LOL!! He's use to working almost every day and no he can't do anything till May 6th when he goes back to the doctor. He had two total disc replacements in his neck and has to take a month off from work! Well, tell him to slow it down on me!!! I'm not able to do everything he wants to do and it upsets him some. You see, he can't drive till May either...lol! But he has been alittle. He's been doing some of what he's not suppose to do even tho I say not too. But who am I? I guess that's like telling me not to do all that I do.

Anyway, I'm exhausted from all of what he's expecting us to do...so I told him today is "OUR" day off! PERIOD!!!! So what if the dishes stack up and the laundry needs done today...we have tomorrow.

He's already complaining about things needing done...so he can do them if he wants too...I'm not. I'm goig back to bed and watching tv till I get tired enough to sleep.

Hope everyone is having some nice weather...I might go sit outside tonight...but yesterday my lungs got sore from the wind...so I have to be careful...that coughing is hurting me.
Enjoy the spring weather...take care and talk soon!

God bless,

Sue

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My heart is breaking...

What do you do when your 17 year old daughter is driving irresponsibly and you have tried everything in your power to help her? You try tough love. Well, not talking to Elicia or seeing her at least once this week has just about broken my heart. I hate doing this to her...but she has to learn to live on her own and that mom and dad isn't always going to be there.

But what really has made it worse is that her and her dad are not on speaking terms. I just heard from her tonight and cried when she was hanging up. I love her to death and would do anything for her. But this, I can't handle the fighting and argueing and trying to help her when she isn't trying to help herself. I just pray that she can learn fast so that we can have our relationship back. I live for my girls and the grandkids (gnieces and gnephews included.)

It's just been since Sat. that I haven't really talked to her and alot of things have been said on both sides...her's and her dad's, there's alot of repairing that needs to be done and I don't know that it will be anytime soon.

Elicia, just know that I love you and want more than anything for you to be safe. You are my life...you and Becca.

Well, on Becca's end...she's almost ready to have the baby...she lost the plug on Sunday and has had her feet swollen for a while. She went to the er on Sunday nite, because she was having some pain and bleeding...and they said she was fine. Her bp was high for her and I'm worried about her too. I talk to her almost every day trying to find out if she is alright. Time will tell.

Well, we finally got the garden tilled...now it's time for the planting and growing...I can't wait till we see some veggies out there! I'm going to learn how to can this year...hopefully all will turn out great! *keeping my fingers crossed*

Alyssa and Krystina are trying to be gardners...they keep wanting to plant seeds and grow flowers...lol! I've let them plant some and we have to feed the birds when they come over and we weed the flower beds too. They like to play outside alot now and so they have mommy and daddy bring their bikes (trikes, really) so that they can ride them in our yard...but sometimes there's just more to do around here than plain ol' riding the bike! LOL!

I just love having my big yard to do so much in. Hoping that things turn out ok this year.

Well, hope all is doing good, even in the wakes of the tornadoes and other natural disasters.
Enjoy the warm weather that comes your way...for that is what I'm doing!
God bless,

Sue

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Hurry up and wait to see! LOL!

Well, I knew she wouldn't stay mad at me for long...but it sure did hurt to not talk to Elicia. But now she is coming back around...she called me on Sat....or was that Friday? I can't remember...but when she did...all I could do was cry about it all and wish things hadn't gotten so bad. By Sunday, all was almost right with my world...you know me by now...that's not going to stay that way for long...lol!

Anyway, the garden is in and now we are waiting for the rewards of our labors...I can't wait till the herbs and tomatoes are grown...altho, I know it will take awhile...but we bought tomato seeds and plants...so we have to just wait and see. I want to try roasting the cherry tomatoes with the herbs in the oven and see how that tastes. I've already braised some steaks and then put the cherry tomatoes that I bought at the store in the skillet with onions and green peppers and then made a broth for the steaks with those in it and put the steaks back in to simmer...that was the most delicious meat and veggies I have ever tasted...hmmm-mmm!

I even planted some more flowers and now have to plant my gladiolus bulbs in the main flower bed beside where we are currently digging for the Koi pond...I can't wait to get that in and see some Koi and just sit and watch them in the shade...I'm trying to get my yard looking nice and very curb friendly...or should I say...give it some curb appeal.

The front of the house is starting to look better...and I'm so proud of what I, myself, has accomplished since spring has started.

Well, I'll stop typing now and let you go and enjoy what's left of your day...hope it's nice and not too cold or not too hot...but just the right temp! If that could ever happen.

Oh and btw, Becca is doing ok, so far. The baby has dropped, but they say she still has 2 months left...I don't know if she'll wait that long...but right now...it's a waiting game.
So, I have to go...I'll catch up with ya'll later.

God bless,

Sue

P.S. I hope to be able to post some pics of the gardens before long.

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Going Green...

Well, I'm going to try my hand at going green. Something has to help? Dontcha think? With food prices going up and gas prices on the rise...and the cost of energy...we've all got to pitch in and do our part. Right now, I'm starting little and when I can afford to go big...I will.
First off, I'm going to start using those tote bags to carry my groceries in...just have to get about 20 more...lol!

Next, I'm going to start recycling paper and plastics...already recycle cans. Alyssa and Krystina like to crush the pop cans...lol! That's their chore. They just love it.

Then when I can find some 55 gal plastic barrels...I'm going to start collecting rain water (if it rains enough) to water the garden.

I'm already growing a garden and we plan on cutting down the cost of the premade foods we are going to buy...I will be canning alot when the time comes...just have to find me a canner and the supplies. I have a few...just not a whole lot. We're talking about foods like sauces, chow chow, salsas, pickles, jellies and jams, green beans and potatoes...you name it, we'll can it and freeze it. That's our new healthy living...when we get them going. We already have sprouts in the garden...so it shouldn't be too long. We bought a few tomato plants and will probably buy a few more. I'm really looking forward to it. Already looking up the web sites for everything. Stockpiling, I guess you could say.

We only drive to town (5 minutes away) when we need too...if we drive in town we cut off the ac and row the windows down. We turn off the ac here at home when the temp is in the 60's and 70's...like today...it's really nice outside. The two hyper dogs are outside enjoying the day...which keeps them out of my hair and makes it easier to let them exercise.

We are going to start turning off the appliances that we don't need to run at nights. That way it saves on the light bill. We're going to buy those light bulbs that save energy too. So, we're trying to do our part. I can't say that we're going to put in solar panels...cause that costs too much for our pockets. We're just starting small.

So, I will keep you updated on everything that's going on with the Going Green project. Hopefully it works out for the best!

God bless,

Sue

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Remembering a Gentle Giant!

Well, on Sunday I found out that a friend of ours passed away. We had met him thru my friend Julie, who became close friends with him and they shared a phone call every night at 9pm. This man was a gentle giant...with a heart of passion for anyone who would talk to him. He had a funny laugh that just seemed to come from within him. He stood 6'10" and was probably around 300 lbs. A gentle giant is the best way I can describe him. Julie would call him a big teddy bear to cuddle up with, I'm sure. She fell for him and I can understand why...he was kind and compassionate for others around him...with a little of a tough exterior. He had a weird sense of humor that he always pointed towards me at times...lol! He knew how to get me to turn redder than the Flolan does!

We met him when the Lewis and Clark Expedition came to St. Joseph, MO. He was portraying an indian on it. He wasn't in real life...he was part German and tho he wasn't Native American...he sure wanted to be. It was a way of life he wanted to learn more and more about. He was even voted into the Osage tribe by the elders there. He was an honorary Osage Indian and could speak the language. He knew more about Native Americans than this Native American. Yes, I am a Cherokee Indian...altho, I don't use the health care system anymore nor have I been to one of their powwows. But, I grow more interested in my heritage than I use to be.

This giant housed me and Mike when I had to go to St. Louis for re-evaluation for the double lung transplant 2 years ago. It took alot for a complete stranger who had only met us once to open his house up to us for a week. I applaud him for that. Of course, I wouldn't go to his house without Julie...she's my best friend and I needed her there! LOL! Plus, she knew him more than we did.

Anyway, this man that I'm talking about did not have PH, but he did have CHF, diabetes, and high blood pressure. He knew what it was like to suffer from an illness that could take you at anytime. They had to restart his heart several times. He passed away Saturday from a stroke.

This man's name was Kurt "Big Dog" Kestermeier and he was a great man, in many ways.

I remember when he came to visit for Julie's birthday 2 years ago and we went to the Renaissance Festival in KC. There was a Little Person (woman) waiting to greet people at the front of the area and she looked up at him and asked him, "What's the weather like up there?" He then laughed and picked her up and said to her..."Here, find out for yourself!" That was Kurt! He just had a way with people.

My brother started getting into making indian dress (forgive Julie...the words are slipping from this brain), and then he stopped. But Kurt, he had a true love for the indian lure...he carved knives and made other things from the bones that were given to him. It was a true gift that he had. He enjoyed sharing it with others.
The pictures that follow are of him, Julie, and a friend named Donald "Deerpath" Wright...they were all a part of the Lewis and Clark Expedition...Julie was more of a friend to them than I was...she knew them longer...and deeper than I...but my heart is with her. I feel for her pain. I know that she is suffering.
Julie, my prayers are with you. I love you, my dear friend! I miss seeing you. The gas prices are keeping us apart!

May Kurt soar in your skies forevermore! Aho dear friend...your spirit is free! Your pain is no more!

God bless,

Sue

Kurt "Big Dog" Kestermeier: Dec. 25, 1954-May 24, 2008
photo was taken in 2007

Julie and Big Dog

Kurt and Deerpath

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Corporate America overtakes one more person...me!!

I'm being squished like a bug and I'm tired of it!!! Just plain tired of it!

First off, I file that stupid lawsuit so I can take care of me and my family and all I get is a lousy 1/3rd of it...yeah, I know...I am thankful to God that I got anything at all! The problem is...the insurance company that I use to swear by...they took a 1/3rd of it too and the laywers of course got the last 1/3rd. So, now what's my beef...my share is all gone, well, I did get my house and two nice trucks and I bought some new furniture with it and helped a friend and my nephew...but the point is...it's gone and now we are in debt up to our ying-yangs....and now we have to file Chapter 13 and that gets filed tomorrow.

The funny thing is...I have to decide at this time in my life...which drugs are more important to sustain my life and which aren't. And what can I live without in my life. Because guess what? Yep, that big insurance company that paid all of my bills and copays and all...they called it quits on helping us out. Decided we (I) had outlived the short period of help that they had offered or in layman's terms...I made the big bucks...now we could afford to pay them back for a change! Now, we are being sent old hospital bills from when they were suppose to be covered and now we have copays on EVERYTHING!!!! And I'm seeing RED!!! How do they expect us to live with the cost of gas, food AND meds going up! I can no longer afford Pulm rehab...so that is out this month. I will go in one last time next week and tell everyone goodbye. I've been going for 4 years now...they are my friends and I can't go there. I can't afford to go to my specialist that is on for next month...what do I do there? We have to sell one of the trucks we have bc Mike got a title loan on it and we can't afford that either. We had up too 10-11 loans out in this area!!! Different kinds...but they were eating us alive. I'm behind on all my bills...because I don't know when to pay them because Mike pays everything else first. I need to cut up his check card and mine! Just write checks to get money or something. The money goes so fast!

My internet is due, my cell phones are gone. The home phones are on bankruptcy...but we can still use them; the gas bill is due...let's face it...everything that makes this house run...is DUE!!! Can I now scream??? I have now money...Elicia moved out of the trailer and the lot rent is due to us on it! Of course, the trailer is now a peice of crap thanks to copper strippers. They tore the place up and it isn't even livable!

You know that old saying...if it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck a t'all!! Whoa is me! LOL! I use to love watching HeeHaw!!!

I need to pick up my meds and Elicia is nagging me to take her to the doctor tomorrow...I have to decide what meds I need to paid for the most and what meds I don't. I'm trying to convert all my pills to generic form...but some of them don't have the generic form. So, maybe taking her to the doc will give me a chance to quiz him tomorrow.

I need my elbow checked out...but can't afford the copay. I need something different to sleep with...so, must talk to doc tomorrow.

Did I say that Corporate America bites another butt today!!! I've almost given up everything...be dang if this house goes!!! They will have to take it when I'm dead!!!

Which could be soon if I don't pay up for those darn meds...lol!!!

Well, hope you all had a good laugh at my expense...I sure do sometimes!

Oh, btw....no granddaughter yet!!! Hurry up Jeanna Sue!!!

Now that I have vented to all my friends and the world of corporate bigwigs...maybe I can now sleep till my med change at 3 am!

Good night and sleep tight, my dear PHriends!

God bless,
Sue  

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The newest addition to our family!!!

Here's pics of Jeanna Sue Oden, born on 6-28-08 at 6:12pm. She weighed in at 10 lbs, 5 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long!

She's an armful!

Gotta go show off more pics...lol!

One proud Gmomma!

God bless,

Sue

Me and Jeanna Sue...right after she was born.

Jeanna's first day home!

new mommy (Becca) and baby Jeanna

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Remembering the simple times.

I'm wide awake at 12:30 am and wondering why? LOL! It's because Mike got me to thinking about my childhood and the fun times I did have at one time.

We talked about those times b4 he went to sleep and I had trouble shutting my mind down. So, what do I do...read for awhile and then think about what I'm posting on here.

I remember the good ole days with fondness and wishing that things were that simple again.

Growing up, my grandma grew a huge garden & her and my mom canned everything they could. We would go outside and play around the creek that ran in front of her house or walk down her long driveway just to pass the time.
I remember going to her house every holiday and that being the only times we, as the children, got to stay up late and that was to play one game after another with the whole family. Which that always inluded my Aunt Diane and her sons. We had so much fun...we would eat chips and dip or anything Grandma Tow had in the house for that night. They were huge events and us girls and our two cousins always got along. We would do things together and have fun at the same time.

Those were the simple times.

Mom and dad would take us to the lake and we would wade in and just sit and feel the tide go in and out. We couldn't swim for the life of us...but we enjoyed playing there. We would go camping and fishing when dad didn't have to work. We were part of a CB club. We all had CB names. I was Milkyway, Hope (my older sister) was the Big Dipper and Diane (my younger sister) was the Little Dipper. We would go to the CB swap meetings they had in our town and just have fun. It was so cool to talk on a CB, now we talk on computers and cellphones.
We would travel 30 mintues from home to visit my great grandma and she would also can and she even quilted alot. We would go outside and play on her porch swing or just hang out on her back porch and pretend like it was our club or house.

Those were the simple times.

When I got toegether with Mike, we moved to a quiet little town in southern MO, and we would go sit on a creek bank and fish, or drive from one town to the other and dream of maybe one day rafting down the Elk River in Lanigan, MO. When th girls came along and we moved back to that town...we took them to a creek that ran into the Elk river and the 4 of us would walk in the clear, cool water, you could see the rocks and sand on the bottom. It was the life.     Simple.

We moved to Texas after that and when we had a spare moment...we took the kids to the beach...or we went to the nearest creek...ok, they were the size of a river in any other state! LOL! At the creek, my brother and Mike would toss a net in the river to catch some shrimp. That gave me my first taste of seafood. I now love fried shrimp and fried crab legs. They are so good.

Where did those simple times go? I want my little girls back and to just spend more time loving them the way I did then. Don't get me wrong...I still love them...but I loved having babies and young kids. They were so much fun.

Now, because of the economy, many ppl have to go back to simpler times. We look for the "free" stuff in life and how we can "get" back to nature. Life moves too fast and we just need to slow down and find those simple times again.
I'm now trying to find a way to slow down and enjoy the grandnieces and my new granddaughter.  That's easy...they slow me down enough to stick my feet in the pool and let them pour the water over them.

Ahhhh...the simpler times.

Hope everyone can find the fun in life while you can.

God bless,

Sue

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"Where Yesterday Lives"

"Where Yesterday Lives" is an inspirational book written by Karen Kingsbury. I finished that book the other night and let me tell you...it got me to thinking about my past and my own father. It kind of reminds me of the turmoil that is always in my family...someone is always fighting...as far back as I can remember. The family tends to hold some grudges longer than others, but after not talking for a week or two...things seem to straighten out. That was so in this book. I felt like it was my family going thru alot of the things that the Barrett family went thru when their father and husband died suddenly. I really recommend reading any of the book of that Karen Kingsbury writes, they truly inspire you and make you think about your own life and what is going on. Sometimes that's all it takes to make you stop and take stock of your life.

I read in one of them that God doesn't want us to be perfect like  Him, He just wants us to lead as close of a life as we can to His example.

I know that I'm not perfect...far from it, but occasionally I feel like I have not even made it close at all.

I am enclosing an excerpt from the book, this is taken from her website... www.karenkingsbury.com .

Where Yesterday Lives

At thirty-one, Ellen Barrett has already won a Pulitzer prize. Sadly, though, her skill as a journalist far surpasses her ability to sort out her troubled past, so she's less than eager to return to picturesque Petoskey, Michigan, for her beloved father's funeral. When she most needs comfort, her husband is distant and her siblings antagonistic -- and the solace an old sweetheart offers is almost too much to resist. In the end, going home to the shores of Little Traverse Bay is an emotional and spiritual journey for Ellen and a rediscovery of what is truly important and eternal in her life.

Have you rediscovered what is truly important in your life? That's the hardest thing to ask a person...but it makes us think.

Thanks for going on this journey with me. I don't know that I could have made it this far. Tomorrow will be the 5th anniversary to-date of when I recieved my life-saving drug...Flolan! I have lived longer than alot of ppl around me have expected. I am truly blessed.

Till we talk again...

God bless,

Sue

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Only thing up here is the heat!

Wow, is it hot outside! May not be in the 100's, but with the heat index...it feels like 105!!! Went outside and was hit in the face with hot air...I think I will just stay in as long as I can...or at least till it cools some tonight!

A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine from Pulm Rehab gave us her trampoline. I tell you what...it's already come in handy. All I hear or the girls' mommy..is I want to go to Aunt Sue's house. The only problem with that is...it's too hot to enjoy jumping on it. They jumped for a while yesterday till we had to go and they enjoyed it alot!

It was so funny to see Krystina trying to jump on it and make Alyssa bounce. When Alyssa would jump, Krystina would just sit down and bounce that way. The first day we had it they were on it for around 2-3 hours! It was so funny! Their daddy, my nephew, was playing on it with them! He had just as much fun as they did!

Best free item I've gotten so far! Where do I get them...www.freecycle.com .

You'd be amazed what you can get from there! Actually, I got it from the friend who ended up calling me for the website and I asked what she wanted to give away and it was the trampoline...we were looking for one for the girls and I asked her if we could have it and she gave it to us.
When we got there...Alyssa saw a swing hanging from a tree and just HAD to play on it. Boy, I would love to have a swing hanging from a shady tree.

So you see...that's why the love to come to Aunt Sue's house! LOL! What did I start here!!

Well, that's about all my brain will think of...I had my hair done by Alyssa, we were having a date tonight...but she went home...lol! Now my head hurts from all the pulling that she did! I tell you what, I'm not paying her for that hairdo!!!

Well, hope everyone can stay cool!

Just enjoying summer here!

God bless,

Sue

Alyssa and Krystina playing on the trampoline!

I see you!!! LOL

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Well...what's up with me?

Well, I thought I knew what I wanted to write...but not really sure at this moment...lol! Go figure!

Well, last week I ran out of Revatio and was almost out of Tracleer...there was a snag in the sending and receiving department of the whole thing. They wanted a payment (which I really couldn't afford) b4 they would send out my Revatio. Finally, I arranged for a payment and was promised the shipment by Friday. Then I get a call back that they needed a refill order for it. So, I had to put in a call to the doc for that and didn't get a call back till later on in the day, but the nurse promised she would fax the order to the Caremark office. I finally got a call back from the Caremark office that my shipment would be here Friday morning. Thing is...I didn't hear the delivery guy knock on the door, so I had to wait till he/she took it back to the main office...which the tag that they left said 4 pm, but we got there at 4:30 pm and the guy in the main office said that it was still on the truck and could we come back at 6pm to pick it up. Mike said yes. So, we left and waited. Went back at 6 something and it was there. So, I started my meds as soon as I got them. Thing is...I had more energy without the Revatio then with it. I even walked 2 1/2 miles and made it thru the day after that. I had my O2 with me on the walk and it helped, but I felt fine without it. I just didn't want to push it. So, I walked to my mom's house and then to my nephew's house...they live within a block of each other...for now anyway...lol! Then it was nice on Saturday here, so I set out with Mike for the post office...it's a 6 block round trip walk...which I actually felt up too! I enjoyed it so much that I am going to walk at least 3 times a week...just to start up. I lost one pound last week...which I was happy with...but you know how it is with fluid retention...you can lose it fast, but it can still come back.
So, since it's been nicer outside lately, I've been spending more time outside...I just love working in my yard or even just sitting out there looking and watching! I usually take Rylie out with me and let her chase a ball (Baby, that's what she thinks the ball is called...if you tell her to get the ball, she won't, but if you call it Baby, then she is hunting all over for it and then finds it. Everything is a baby to her.) When we first got her, she would bring her baby to bed and lay it down beside me to make sure it would be safe there. If she sensed it being moved, she would go hunt it and then settle back down. You can tell her to go to bed and she will. I know, they are all spoiled here. But we love them alot! Scrappy is ocd and has to sleep on my left side and Rylie sleeps on my right...they both sleep under the blankets till they get hot. It's a little crowded when they do that...cause they lay right next to me! LOL!

Well, my grandbaby will be here this weekend...I am so excited about that!!! I can't wait to see Becca and Jeanna...and Heath...lol!

Well, that's what's up with me...hope everyone is having as good a day as they can.

God bless,

Sue

My garden now...it use to be bigger, but we had to mow down the corn and beans...they were burnt up and stolen! LOL! By critters in the wild!

One of my flower beds!

A parade going by my house...Mike pulling the gnieces in a wagon and Rylie trailing behind with Baby!

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Several things on my mind...what there is left...lol!

Alot is rattling around...I hear the jingling thru the cobwebs! LOL!

So much has happened this last weekend...Becca, Heath and Jeanna came for a visit! I was so excited and spent as much time with her as I could. I didn't want them to leave on Monday night...but Heath had to go back to work. Jeanna is so big and just loves cooing to people. She is also a cutie...looks just like her momma did when she was that age. Alyssa and Sissy just LOVED holding her and helping her when she needed it. That will work great when their little brother comes home sometime in the next few weeks...maybe sooner! Marie (their mommy is off work till he is born...orders from the nurse(even tho the doc said she was ok to work), her bf and her boss. She's not liking it at all.

But I loved the whole weekend...we ended up having a family bbq with other extended family members so they could visit with Becca and her family while they were here...it was tiring...I had to do all the cooking.

On another note, I still have the hacking cough that I had 2 weeks ago when they told me it was allergies...if it is...then why won't it go away with the allergy med they gave me? You got me? I cough so hard sometimes I throw up or get dizzy. I have an appt. with my PH doc on my birthday (the 15th of this month), and I will tell him all of this. At least my lungs are clear...at least that's what the chest xray said 2 weeks ago.

Other than that...not awhole lot up here...it's been raining the last two days and they are calling for more by the weekend as Gustov makes it's way north. It's a cool 57 here today...we did reach a high of 60 at one point...but not for long...it came back down. Where's the nice weather b4 the winter weather sets in.

Well, that's it for now...talk more later.

God bless,

Sue

Alyssa reading to Jeanna and Sissy...even tho Alyssa doesn't know how herself

Sissy holding Jeanna

Jeanna- 2 months old

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Listening to the ads on tv and radio can be misleading...

I'm not talking about the political ads either...they are always misleading and lies...I hate this time of the year...all the bashing and name calling. I'm talking about those commercials that ask you if you've talked to your kids about drugs...yes, they are useful and helpful , BUT, my problem is when they appeal to kids and sing catchy tunes that appeal to the younger kids...as in my 3 year old niece who loves catchy tunes...mostly songs and things that she can sing. There was one on the local radio station where a young kid sung about drugs...and then at the end it tells about how you should ask your kids about drugs or talked to them. After hearing this, she proudly proclaims to her mom that she wants to try drugs when she gets older!

Now I ask you...are we sending the right message to our kids by doing this just to get the parents to talk to their kids about drugs? I don't think that was a necessary ad, and should be dealed with accordingly. JMHO.

Me and Mike have had the "talk" with both of our girls when they were younger about drugs, sex and drinking...did it help or point them in another direction...NO! They did it all and now have to pay for it. They have both been kicked out of my house and I think Becca really learned after she was gone for a month or two. Elicia is home now and even tells ppl that she was reckless and didn't really blame me...but that is now...now that she has had to be on her own for awhile.
The school had health and talked to the girls about all three and the problems that happen...did it help? No!

So, should these ads be in full view of the young and impressionable? I know that my grandnieces are more aware of all the things happening on tv...it's their favorite thing to do...besides jumping on Aunt Sue's trampoline.

Just alittle pissed at the local radio station and may be changing my chennel soon.

God bless,

Sue

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Family visits

Well, last weekend was a visit from Becca, Heath and Jeanna....I loved it! This weekend, my younger sister is coming for a visit and just maybe my dad's sister. I can't wait. We were trying to get Becca and Jeanna to come up, my sister, Rachel, would give her a ride here and give her a ride home...but Heath doesn't want them to come for a visit. I guess he just doesn't trust her...but then with her track record...I would wonder about that too. Sorry Becca. I would love to have her and Jeanna visit with us all...but I can kinda understand where Heath is coming from. But a visit would still be nice. I would get to see Becca and Jeanna, PLUS my sister...what a great weekend. My sister, Hope, wants to have a bbq here...hmmm, wonder why she didn't ask me first...oh yeah, she did...she asked me what I was doing when Rachel comes up this weekend...would just like to enjoy the visit. But, maybe not...lol!

Rachel lives in Oklahoma, where we are originally from...so I haven't seen her since dad's death. Her and my aunt. I reallly miss them both so much.

Well, not much is going on here...just being bored.
Earlier this week, a man was killed at a rest stop near here. We often stop at that stop on our way to KC...maybe not so much anymore. But that's how it is everywhere. I wonder if it will ever stop...but that's how it's been since Cain and Abel...it probably won't get any better.

Anyway, Mrs. Boredom is out of here...not losing any weight...maybe I should try to watch my salkt intake like Cheryl...I normally do, but have been craving it for the last few months...especially on the fresh garden tomatoes. Ok, don't lecture too loud...my head hurts. Seems like I keep one all the time now and with this cough...it's not fun holding my neck to keep it from hurting.

Enjoy your weather b4 the hurricanes come in...praying for an easy hit...but knowing that is impossible.

God bless,

Sue

Newest addition to the family...my brother's oldest son just had a baby girl on Sunday! Her name is Tori Marie Bentley! My dad would be so proud! I know I am...and I don't live close to her!

Tori Marie Bentley: born Sept. 7th, 2008 weighing in a 7 lbs, 10 ozs.

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Bored and depressed...nothing going on

Well, it's been a boring week here...I know, surely there's something I can do...like maybe clean the house, fold clothes, or the dishes...but I don't want too. I've been looking at them for a week and they keep piling up. Ok, not the dishes...but the clothes and house! LOL! I just get so tired of being in the house and with the rain earlier this week...I really didn't want to go outside. I have been going out...I actually mowed the lawn one evening, no, I rode the mower...didn't push one. The weeder is out of line and I finally got the front flower bed cleaned out...Mike also got the fish pond cleaned out...we are going to put in a liner and pump and put our goldfish that is currently housed in a swimming pool.

I will put some pics in of both. I've watched tv alot and slept alot...not awhole lot, but have slept when I could. I can't sleep much at night, so I sleep alittle later in the day...my day starts around 9-10 AM.

My sister got to visit last weekend and we took ALOT of pics...we had fun and I really enjoyed it. Only she could make it here...I wish my aunt, Becca and Jeanna could have visited...but I will make do with her. I had a great time with her...altho we just went to Joe and Marie's house for the most part. I will post some of the pics in the next entry.

The week has dragged by so slowly.

There is a fall festival going on this weekend...don't know the cost or if it's free...but it would be something different to do. Well, don't know for sure if I'm going to it...maybe next year. When I can better afford it. Who knows.

I guess I'm out of here for now...gotta get supper done...the slow cookin' bbq chicken is done and we are waiting on the potatoes.

It sure smells good!

Take care all!

God bless,

Sue

Here are the goldfish...LOL!

Here's the flower bed by the future fish pond

And the future fish pond!

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It's fall here! Cooler weather means open windows!

Well, it's only 72 today...was only in the 60's yesterday. Really cool here. I'm even freezing...lol!

Don't really know what to say today...I'm bored so much and tired of being indoors. I've been indoors because of my cough. Staying outside for long periods means I have a coughing attack soon. I end up coughing for the rest of the night and they say it's only allergies. I don't know about that...but the Xzal (like Zyrtec, for the itching and allergies) and Astelin isn't helping. I take the cough syrup w/ codiene and that doesn't help at all. I don't know what to do about it...but they say my lungs are clear. Something is wrong and they aren't doing much about it.

I'm glad the bailout failed...how do they expect us to pay for something like that and still pay the high prices for gas, food and utilities? I'm ready for some clear thinking in the government. But, I can say that I'm not voting...not because I don't believe in it...but bc I moved and forgot to re-register. When you change states...you are suppose to chanre your license and all...but I haven't done that yet...I don't know what I'm waiting for...lol!

I'm getting tired of cooking all the time. I know I don't do much else here in the house...but I'm running out of ideas and energy to put into all the meal planning and everything else. Just don't know what to do anymore.

Thanks for letting me vent some. Other than those things...I'm not doing to bad.

God bless,

Sue

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2 Horrible, terrible, not-so-good, very bad days!

That's the best way to describe today & yesterday. The book said it all!

First off, I was up @ 7AM yesterday and had 3 kiddos to watch, that was the so-so part...it spiraled down from there! My mom accused Elicia & her friend of stealing those stupid state quarters in that stupid book...now, I ask you, how many of them are still in circulation? Not a reason to accuse someone of doing...bc you don't know where they are in her house....or if someone else did. I defended Elicia bc I know that she hasn't been to mom's back bedroom in a long time, bc mom always gives her a hard time and makes sure she doesn't go anywhere. So, that was my first part that upset me and then it went bad from there on out! I went to bed feeling like the worse person on earth bc it felt like everyone was pissed at me or yelling at me. Even Becca's husband...that was the breaking point. I'm stressed about the health of both my daughters and my granddaughter and I just wanted to help them out. He yelled at me and hurt my feelings & I had had enough! No MORE!!!!

Then it started over again with mom today. I have a 4 door pickup truck and it won't fit her, me, Mike, the girls and Landen! There just isn't enough room for all of us. I tried to tell her that we were working on a solution...but she just got more upset...so I told her that I couldn't talk and we got off the phone...then when I went to get a small grocery list from her, she yelled and started crying. I can't do a whole lot about it...some one has to care enough to watch these 3 kiddos, bc Joe and Marie has to work and no one else will watch them...not even his mother! I'm beyond frustrated...my whole family was against me yesterday and that's how it felt to me! I asked my girls why I was the worse mom on earth...of course they told me I wasn't...but I felt like it.

Now, today I have the 3 kiddos again and they aren't the problem...it's my mom!

Elicia just came home for the truck to go to work with...spends all day away from home and doesn't help with anything around here...but she'll help others! I don't know...I'm just the mom.

So, maybe as today winds down...this day will turn more positive...I can only hope.

Just another horrible, terrible, not-so-good, very bad day!!!

God bless,

Sue

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