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Thursday, September 24, 2009
Bailey Made Me Do It
For those of you who are new to the diaries, I started writing a diary in January of 2001 and driveled on and on for years posting several times weekly for nearly nine years.  When we moved over to the new system, I decided to retire the old stuff.  I was not sure I had anything more to say and a lot of the old stuff was irrelevant now.  But here I am again mostly because of Bailey and her heart-felt post about her sweet-natured aging dog.

Teddy is a year and seven months old already and at around the one year mark, I was ready to hand him over to anyone who would take him.  He was hard to train.  At just around that one year mark on one very fine day, he just seemed to catch on and since then, we've had a very good little doggie here.  He woofs at the door if he wants out and he's as smart as a whip.  Whew, what a relief.  He had big paws to fill after Sadie.

Up until about two months ago, we had kept the ugly puppy fencing to drag across the kitchen/dining room opening so that Teddy would not disturb me in the wee hours between the time Allen left for work and I finally dragged my weary butt out of bed (between 6:30 - 8:00 a.m.).  Just like the day I asked my skeptical father to take the training wheels off my bike, I had Allen retire the fence so we could see how Teddy would behave.  It was time.

Well, it's pretty darned remarkable.  Every morning when Allen leaves, he climbs back into his sleeping crate with the door wide open and settles down.  He does not get up or squeak his toys or make any kind of fuss at all until he hears my feet hit the floor.  What's even more amazing is this:  if I get up early just to visit the bathroom, he seems to know I'm going back to bed and he does not leave the crate.  It's only when I put my feet on the floor and turn off the bipap that he comes over to greet me before he grabs a squeaky toy to run and play.  And then the games begin!

He is such a good boy!

Bailey you really did hit the nail squarely on the head when you said they are all so smart.  Us humans think we are the only living creatures who have a clue and it's probably just the opposite.  We're so good at getting things wrong.

I worried for months and months that Teddy could not replace Sadie and I was right about that.  He's not a replacement, but he's just as lovely to live with.  This little dog and my lovely black cat make life so much better here. 

Thursday, October 01, 2009
Life Around Here
The strain I've placed on my arms, wrists and left elbow is evidence I need to limit my time at  this desk  In July and August, Michelle and I were working long, long days on the site to get the thing up and running.  And since then, I've been continuing to pound the keys partly because there are a lot of loose ends to tie, partly because it makes me feel useful and partly because I just don't have a satisfying diversion.  But I have to take long breaks now.  It won't be an option if I don't listen up.  My body is rebelling.

Having the site go live finally after so many fits and starts felt wonderful, but out there nobody much knew it was in the work at all and the  response was, shall we say, underwhelming?  So much work!  So much!  It reminded me of the way I felt after College finals were done and I was waiting for the grades.  It was like driving at 100 mph and then slamming the car to a halt.  A jolt to the system.  And now what?

We're in our last gasp of Indian summer here, but it's been hard fought.  A little of this, a little of that.  Warm again tomorrow but a cool down this weekend.  There's a huge music fest in the park this weekend, but it may be too cool for me to enjoy.  I will try to go.  Would love to hear Lyle Lovett sing on one stage and Steve Martin  on another play his banjo in Golden Gate Park!  There are five stages in all and it's well attended and all free!  A huge, fabulous party.

Have not heard from some of you in quite some time.  Drop me a line.  I'd like to know how you are all doing, even you lurkers.

Friday, October 09, 2009
How to upload photo

You will find an icon above this text box for inserting/editing images.  Click it.

 

Then click the box that says Browse Server

 

The default is to phc where you might have uploaded photos previously, but if you look down to the right corner, there is another browse and this one is for you to browse your own P.C.  Click that.  Choose the photo you want to upload and go for it.

 

Clear as mud?  Let me know if you succeed with this.  I have not tried it for weeks before launch and it did work back then.

C

Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Overdue, really in a stew

I made a huge batch of lamb stew last night because I thought we were having guests.  A PH friend who had lost electricity due to our big storm yesterday asked if we could handle two cpap users - one also needing nighttime o2 -  and a large dog for the night.  We could, but they decided to wait for PG&E to fix things so changed plans at a late hour.  By then we were awash in stew!

Since there was so much left to eat tonight, we invited our neighbors over who keep a weekly Wednesday night date at a local bistro here.  I wrote up a little menu that said:  "lamb stew and butter lettuce salad gracefully tossed with dijon vinegarette and sliced red onion.  Bon Appetit!"  which made us all laugh.  Limited menu, but the price was excellent.  The stew got high marks too even though it had no fancy title or chef's name attached.  It was comforting all the way.

So diary, where have I been?  Mostly I've been dawdling through this life but also spending focused time on this website.  A myriad of little things have fallen apart since the launch.  The webmaster and I are scratching our heads.   Bugs are being introduced right and left and the problem is there seems to be no pattern or reason for any of it.  Until things settle down, I'll be edgy which is mostly why I have not written here.  Grumble, grumble, grumble.

You can build a beautiful website, but if it doesn't work, it is only going to frustrate people and sour them.  I get it.  We are working at correcting everything!

Someone asked me today about Elen so here's an update.  For those of you who don't know, Elen is my elderly - 92 year old - Italian neighbor.  This feisty woman (Elen with a single L) is one tough cookie and continues to be a button pusher.  When my heart softens and I ask her over for dinner, she tells me how I might make the meal better next time on her way out the door.  Whenever I do anything to help, somehow I walk away nearly always feeling I've been played.  Recently her daughter insisted she have a part-time companion so now four days a week she has someone watching over her.  This has taken the load off of the rest of us who have been somewhat under her thumb.  Now we're only summoned on days when she is lonely without companionship.  We're asked to fill in.  I don't always comply.

Over the years I have gone back and forth with this woman.  She knows how to play the age card and it does resonate with me.  I fall for it and then I get irritated and pull back.  I guess I'm in pull back mode right now.

Physically she's just fine.  She'd like to be wearing out faster, but she's not getting her way in this regard.  She needs her walker and her hearing has gotten worse, but she's still kicking butt in that indirect and persistent way she has.  She's a master!

So that's pretty much it for me.  I'm still cooking, loving my critters, mumbling over this limited life I lead, but I'm not quite defeated, not quite yet.

Hey you guys, be well out there and get those flu shots.  I'm trying to track down an h1n1 for myself.  Hard to come by here.

We had an early, hard rain here yesterday that had its origins in the tropics.  It was warm and very wet and today, it was just warm.  Nice days ahead.

 

Friday, October 16, 2009
Sour Kraut or Sauerkraut?

If I had been been a more mature person when my in-laws visited back when we first moved in here (circa 1980) , I would have tried to make dinners that appealed to them on their infrequent visits.  Instead I introduced them to our food and they were not at all ready to handle it.  Being from a mid-western town where overcooked meat and mashed potatoes rule, does not set you up in any way to be a food adventurist.  They were the farthest thing from food adventurists you might imagine.   Evrything here was foreign to Al and Viv.  She, being a more or less good-natured person, tried evrything on the table but Al would have none of it.  Poor guy nearly starved during their first few visits here.  We introduced them to Mexican, rare roast beef, fresh spinach, artichokes and Dim Sum.  Surely he droped a few pounds during those visits.  He was as stubborn as they come.

Tonight's meal - which might have been perfect for bridging divides between me and my in-laws - might have been a big hit.  I can only speculate.  I made a bake of saurkraut, onion, chopped carrot, smoked bacon and polish sausage in white wine, chicken broth and a dash of gin?  Yes, gin was in there too.  Those Germans!!!  It was all spelled out on Epicurious.com, the website I go to for everything now.  The only thing I left out was the caraway seeds.   I did not have them and figured I'd never use them up if I bought them so they were o-u-t.

Last evening we got a call around 8 from a PH acquaintence seeking safe haven.  Their electricity was out again and she and her husband, both being cpap users, needed a place to lay their heads.  At eleven something they arrived and everybody got bedded down around midnight.  What an evening!

When they left today, I was glad to have my peace and quiet back again.  I was glad to help out, but I love my space too.  It's the norm here.

Diary, our house is not tiny, but it's not big either.  With every room one door away from a central hall / bathroom, it feels very small when we have guests.  We're all in each others way here.  I wish we had an in-law appt for times like these.  I'd build one if we had the space downstairs, but we really don't have it.

It was a lovely, warm early fall day here.  Fog tomorrow and cooler temps?  Oh, say it isn't so!  But it is.

Reality is a bugger, isn't it?

Be well all.

 

Tuesday, October 20, 2009
My Day With Lupe

Neighbor Sally's friend, Gale has an aged little poodle named Lupe.  Because Lupe is so old and so fragile these days, Gale leaves Lupe at Sally's unofficial doggie daycare (house) when she works or is not at her own appartment.  This weekend both Sally and Gale are scheduled for trips out of town and so today we had a trial run with Lupe here.  She's staying with us Friday and Saturday nights.

Lupe is a nice little dog, but pretty out of it.  She has impaired hearing and nobody knows how much she can even see, but she does manage to get around on her shaky little legs and does not ask for very much or complain.  She's really rather sweet.

I left the back door open for much of the day and she figured out how to get out there and navigate the steep wooden stairs more or less, but I certainly don't want her to take a tumble so I kind of watched over her.  Poor dear.  Reminds me of myself in a way, failing, trying to cope, doing the best on shaky little legs, not making too much of a mess.  :-)

None of Sally's kids would take care of Lupe in Gale's absence.  They are all too young to realize what old age looks like.  They think Lupe is just useless and annoying.  She is not annoying at all, but she is useless.  That she is.

Teddy ran circles around her today at one point trying to get her to play, but it was no use.  She just ignored him.  There is no play left in poor old Lupe.  She's just trying to do her best and stay on track.

I don't know that I want to be Gale's port in a storm when it comes to Lupe, but I think we'll do okay here with her this weekend.  Our trial run went well.  She does a lot of walking around, napping, eating or checking out her empty bowl.  Every so often I sweet-talk her and scratch her head.  When she limped after her nap, I rubbed her gimpy leg and that set her right.

Oh, I hope it is nearly that good for me when I'm on the skids.

Life with Lupe.

 

 

Friday, October 23, 2009
Cooties and H1N1

I drove my scooter over to the co-op bakery a few blocks from here yesterday.  I had decided to treat myself to a couple of pieces of their vegetarian pizza and to eat it with strangers in the busy shop with seating for about 10 people.  People are never very friendly in there, but I just wanted to feel like I was part of something and I do love their sourdough crust pizza.

Well, I walked in at a very busy time and within thirty seconds turned to look at a young woman coughing away at one of the small tables.  All I could think of was H1N1 as I turned on my heels and headed back out the door.

Damn!  No pizza for me, not here.  Not today.

I settled on a cornmeal crust pizza from my expensive and none too crowded - because it's overpriced - supermarket, brought it home to heat up and enjoyed it solo in my quiet house.

I'm not playing around with H1N1 you guys.  I know it would take me o-u-t.  My lung function is pitiful already so this flu - which I have been told from secondhand experience settles into the chest and nearly stops otherwise healthy people in their tracks - is nothing to play with.

I plan on being a very careful in the season ahead.  I expect I'll be on guard from now until this pandemic settles down and that may be a long time from now.

Be careful you all and wash those cooties off your hands.

The bugs are everywhere!

 

Friday, October 30, 2009
My Three Hour Investment

San Francisco's health department had some h1n1 flu shots in hand so put on a three-day give-away program at various locations around the city.  The shots were free to those who qualified and since I do qualify - as much as I'd like for this oxygen tank to be part of an elaborate costume for Halloween, it isn't - I was in luck.  The only catch was I had to wait in line for hours like everyone else desperate for the vaccine.

I scooted the twelve blocks from here with Allen on foot and Teddy on leash to take our place in a long queue that snaked around two corners.  Luckily the weather was stunning - sunny and warm and we had a nice young school teacher to gab with for the duration.

It took three hours of sitting, inching along and visiting before I got inside, but it was all worth it.  In a couple of weeks I won't have to fear this particular virus.  Oh yeah. 

From what I've heard and read, this particular flu strain attacks the lungs with a ferocity doctors rarely see.  If you're on the fence about the vaccine, I suggest you do some reading up on it.  I think most PH docs will suggest their patients get the vaccine and the sooner the better.  The only problem is it's being rolled out very slowly.  Not good.

Halloween tomorrow and the time "falls back" as well.  Ah the times, they are a changing.

Stay well.

 

 

Friday, November 06, 2009
Seventy-seven

The number 77 is not a number I particularly like.  If it was given to me as a grade on a test or a paper, I'd be very unhappy; I'd have to work harder.  If it was my IQ, would I have ever held a job?  Credit score?  Total loser.  Body temp?  Failing, failing.  Call a code blue.  Blood saturation?  Bingo. 

I ran out of o2 at the market a few days ago, kept my cool, finished my shopping, ambled up to the cashier to check out, got on my scooter, drove home, walked through the garage and up the stairs but stopped to get the pulse ox before refueling.  I got a big, fat 77 reading with a heart rate of 106.  I was not at all surprised it was low, but I did not think it would be below eighty-something.  Have I really slipped that far?

I know I keep my sats up with the supplemental o2.  I do test it evry so often and I know with the little tank on my back, my heart is happy, and the blood contains a healthy dose of oxygen, but without it, I'm pitiful.  The thought of being cut off gives me the creeps.

During my last 6-minute walk - earlier this year - I kept my sats at 97 as I chugged along with my little tank.  It really does keep me going and going.  Love my Helios.  Love, love, love it.

What should I expect after 9 1/2 years of living with this restriction.  It's never going to improve so all I can do is hang on to my little lifeline and keep pluggling along.

***

Today Allen and I drove south to walk and scoot through a high-end antique fair and it turned out to be a nice way to spend a drizzly, sunless day.  Very good take-out Chinese tonight with a bit too much salt, but I will deal with it tomorrow.  Fiddle de de.  Tomorrow is another day.

P.S.  Within 3 - 4 minutes of getting that pulse ox reading, my sats recovered to 96 -97 without supplemental.  Of course I was standing absolutely still, bug-eyed and waiting, waiting.   I guess that's my way of finding something good from something terrible.  :-)

 

Wednesday, November 11, 2009
A Minor Pixel

Can it be explained by hormones, the weather, the placement of the stars or is it mind over matter?  I really don't know, but for the past few days, I've been on the upswing. 

Today I purchased tickets for this and that event, made reservations for a Thanksgiving feast  at a restaurant along the coast south of here and generally felt up to snuff.  Actually this whole week so far I've felt a bit buoyant even when the scale told me I was retaining water.  I just could not feel the extra weight and so chugged along trying not to think too much about it.  Today the number was better, but I felt the same.  Go figure.

When I heard the kids from two doors up out front today running and shouting, I hitched up Teddy and took him out on his leash.  He needed the exercize and he likes those children so he ran and ran with them for a bit.  Funny little dog that he is, he kept running back to me as if to ask why I was handing him over, giving him up.  Actually he seemed a bit anxious about it all because it is not the norm here to hand him over to anyone.  I'll have to do it more often so that he is more adaptive to new experiences. 

I've had three pomeranians in my little life and they have all been wonderful, smart, loyal and a bit anxious.  That may say more about me than it says about the breed.  It's hard to know.  :=)

I made a lovely beef strogonoff tonight, a steamed artichoke and some radiccio in a garlic vinegar/oil on the side.  We do eat well here.

As I'm living this life attempting to make sense ot things, I try to imagine women's lives around the world.  It's nothing but sheer happenstance that places me here instead of "there".  If I was living as part of the underclass in Mexico would I have been pounding corn for my dinner earlier today or working in a factory?  As an African woman, would I have been gathering kindling or carrying water in a heavy jug for miles and miles?  If I were a woman somewhere in the Middle East would I be a prisoner in my home, veiled, uneducated? 

Ah well, you can see I'm all over the map here tonight.  Little thoughts, big thoughts.  All over the map.

I guess the overall message here is - despite setbacks and disappointments, life feels fairly good right now for reasons I cannot explain.  I do flirt with depression, but it has not succeeded in pulling me under.   I really do try to grasp the bigger picture and not to take myself too seriously.   I know I am just a minor pixel on a Google map.