Diary Index

Caregiver Diary  -- Veronica (Roni) Grijalva
Caregiver for Thomas (Tommy) V. Gonzales

Monday, July 16, 2001

Now for the most important person, Thomas Velarde Gonzales....this man came into my life about 5 years ago, I can remember it like it was yesterday....I had just purchased my new home, with a swimming pool......well, this pool stayed sparkling for approx. 2 weeks, then all of a sudden, one day BAM! it was swampy green.....well, Tommy who was recommended by a ex-boyfriend, called one day and said he would take on the job, and have my pool sparkling like a diamond, that following week, is when we met for the first time.

There's more in the beginning of how we met, but if i got into that, i don't think you'd have enough time to read it. :oP

It was approx. a year after we met, that we agreed to start dating as a couple. (before that we were just friends). Things were going great, but one night, i can remember distinclively is the night that we discussed our age. Tommy was 45 at the time i met him, and i was 29.....we were sitting out by my now diamond sparkling pool, when we got into the subject of our health....he was a smoker, and a casual drinker. I asked when his last physical was and he said BAH!...I only have 5 years to live, why start with doctors now. Well, 3 1/2 years to that night, and here we are........seeing more doctors then you can imagine...and no one seems to know what would be best for him. When we were first told that he had PH, i could have sworn i had the look of "duh!" on my face. I had no idea what they were telling us, but i just shook my head like i understood.

Everything i've learned from then to now, it like a different language to me, but i reasearch to try to find out what they are telling us.

Here is our story.....Tommy went to the Doctor for the first time in december of 98 he caught a bad flu, but that's all we thought it was...plus his smoking didn't help...well, his doctor told him quit smoking or i won't help you.....he quit....he had was promoted to Manager, went on a Manager's business trip in the last week of february of 99, and would receive his new store to run as he pleased as soon as he arrived from the trip, well, In March of 99, during the Manager's business mtg. Tommy collapsed, the paramedic's wanted to admit him in the Las Vegas, Nevada Hospital, but he refused saying he'd take care of it when he arrived home. That night, he called me and the next day i made an appt. with his doctor, picked him up from the airport, his doctor took one look at him, and told me to take him to the Hosp. with a blood pressure of 94/84 (something like that) it was very...very low, and his breathing was short, and he was very upset that he wouldn't be able to go to work the next day.......Well, that is when we first learned of him having PPH, (he took various meds that made him feel alot better) after a week, he was fine, and out of the hosp., two weeks later he was in his new store....... Then, almost a year to the day, in december 2000 his meds didn't seem to be helping as much, and then i almost lost him to Congestive Heart Failure, his vitals were very...very...low. I had no idea how sick he was, till they took him into the ER. It was then that the Doctor took me aside, and said if he makes it through the day, he's very lucky....(and to think, i was on my way to work that morning, and he was contemplating calling in sick at his job...) One thing about this man, is that he is a very hard and dedicated worker, and I think that if anything is gonna take his life, it's going to be not being able to work. His District manager, and all his fellow co-workers were very upset with the news, and couldn't believe that someone with his dedication to his job, could be going through such a trial. Now, 7 months later, and a series of mood swings, doctors, and test, we are trying to cope with this disease that has changed our lives completely......

Well, i'll write more tomorrow of the next day....he's calling for my attention....sometimes, i just sit and cry....it's not fair that if i loose this man..

but, gotta keep smiling!... :o) he likes that!

lots of love, glad to be here! Roni