The Lighter Side of PH

The Lighter Side of PH
By Cheryl Switzer, Features Editor
and Wendy Jones, owner

Over the past three years or so, I’ve been keeping my eyes and ears open for “funny” stories having to do with chronic illness. Not surprisingly, there’s not much to tell. Having a chronic illness and PH in particular, is not a very funny business. And yet sometimes we have to laugh at this crazy world.

I’m offering a couple of cute stories below and a poem by a relatively new diarist, Wendy Jones. The stories have to do with the misconceptions people have about oxygen. The poem is a little poke at PH.

We think you’ll enjoy them.

***

My friend, Marti wheeled her little oxygen cart up to the cash register and began placing her items on the counter at her local market. The clerk bent forward and shouted, “how are you doing today” more or less into my friend’s nose. Marti, who was a very proper lady in public, told me later she began to giggle and could not stop. The clerk continued to address her Cannula as if it were a microphone which made Marti giggle all the more.

***

When I entered a public bathroom one day and stepped to the back of a long line, everybody turned. Then they all motioned for me to go first as though my oxygen somehow affected my bladder. I might have corrected them and stayed put at the end, but I did not. A perk is a perk I figured. I went ahead.

***

The Ballad of PH
  By Wendy Jones

I’ll tell you a tale of a horrid disease
That makes me gasp and makes me wheeze.
It makes me weary, it makes me slow
And it stole every bit of my get-up-and-go.  
 
If I stretch or I bend, my heart starts to pound.
My legs are swollen, my head’s spinning round.
I can’t run up stairs like I used to do
‘Cos I turn a peculiar shade of blue.
 
It’s not a disease that many succumb to,
It‘s very particular who it will come to.
I’m one in a million – should I feel proud?
No, I think I’d rather be one of the crowd.
 
So what is the name of this horrid disease
That makes me gasp and makes me wheeze?
It must be the devil’s favourite invention
And its name is Pulmonary Hypertension.

October 1, 2003

 

If any of you have a funny story or a poem you’d like to share and would like to contribute to a future feature, please send it to: features@phcentral.org.

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We feel strongly that free and open discussion regarding PH will assist in the generation and the refinement of new and existing ideas. To that end, we provide the opportunity for anyone from the medical and patient communities to submit editorials, letters to the editor or short articles on a PH-related topic. We will be encouraging opposing points of view. Areas may include treatments, causes, advocacy, disability, etc.

PHCentral is committed to the expression of diverse opinions from members of the PH Community.

We feel strongly that free and open discussion regarding PH will assist in the generation and the refinement of new and existing ideas. To that end, we provide the opportunity for anyone from the medical and patient communities to submit editorials, letters to the editor or short articles on a PH-related topic. We will be encouraging opposing points of view. Areas may include treatments, causes, advocacy, disability, etc.