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The Lighter Side of PH
By Cheryl Switzer,
Features Editor
and Wendy Jones, contributor
Over the past three years or so, I’ve been keeping my eyes
and ears open for “funny” stories having to do with chronic
illness. Not surprisingly, there’s not much to tell. Having
a chronic illness and PH in particular, is not a very funny business.
And yet sometimes we have to laugh at this crazy world.
I’m offering a couple of cute stories below and a poem
by a relatively new diarist, Wendy Jones. The stories have to do
with
the misconceptions people have about oxygen. The poem is a little
poke at PH.
We think you’ll enjoy them.
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My friend, Marti wheeled her little oxygen cart up to the cash
register and began placing her items on the counter at her local
market. The clerk bent forward and shouted, “how are you
doing today” more or less into my friend’s nose.
Marti, who was a very proper lady in public, told me later she
began to giggle and could not stop. The clerk continued to address
her Cannula as if it were a microphone which made Marti giggle
all the more.
***
When I entered a public bathroom one day and stepped to the back
of a long line, everybody turned. Then they all motioned for me
to go first as though my oxygen somehow affected my bladder. I
might have corrected them and stayed put at the end, but I did
not. A perk is a perk I figured. I went ahead.
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The Ballad of PH
By Wendy Jones
I’ll tell you a tale of a horrid disease
That makes me gasp and makes me wheeze.
It makes me weary, it makes me slow
And it stole every bit of my get-up-and-go.
If I stretch or I bend, my heart starts to pound.
My legs are swollen, my head’s spinning round.
I can’t run up stairs like I used to do
‘Cos I turn a peculiar shade of blue.
It’s not a disease that many succumb to,
It‘s very particular who it will come to.
I’m one in a million – should I feel proud?
No, I think I’d rather be one of the crowd.
So what is the name of this horrid disease
That makes me gasp and makes me wheeze?
It must be the devil’s favourite invention
And its name is Pulmonary Hypertension.
October 1, 2003
If any of you have a funny story or a poem
you’d
like to share and would like to contribute to a future feature,
please send it to: features@phcentral.org.
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