Life with Flo: The Series

By Karen Waters


LIFE WITH FLO: The Series

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KarenMarch 03, 2005

LIFE WITH FLO: The Series
By: Myrtle Schmertz (pseudonym)
Diagnosed March 1992
Bosentan Trial Patient
Started Flolan 3/29/04 : 7:10pm

Life With Flo first ran as a series in our private message board. When Myrtle Schmertz began Flolan therapy, she wrote to the PHFriends message board about her progress, and that post soon became first in a series of humorous observations, thoughts and adjustments to life on Flolan.

March 31, 2004 - Part 1

 

Meeting Flo for the first time was, at the very least, an interesting experience. I mean, how was I supposed to feel? After all, this relationship is akin to an arranged marriage! I don't even know if they still do that in India! But I know for sure they don't all wear black in India. We will most certainly be doing something about Flo's wardrobe. Any best friend of mine is going to learn about fashionable color, especially now that the spring pastel collections are here. Well, all that is a worry for a later time. For the present I just need to share my story. Flo says she just wants to chill. So, I'll let her do her thing while I do mine.

It all went so very well. I'm home on 4 nanograms. They wanted me to stay another day and go up to 5, but I say who actually NEEDS that many grandmothers? And then there was the problem with laughter. There had been entirely too much of it going on in my room. I HAD to leave for the benefit of the actual sick people there. And just so you know, the PLLs (Picc Line Ladies) were the worst offenders. Of course, I'm certain you all realize that I personally did not contribute to such silliness. And after word got out even the cleaning ladies got in on the act. One spoke near spanish and the other near, or real, Chinese .....I couldn't tell which. But they laughed all the same, so I did too, all the while shaking my head and saying 'yes' like I was getting it. They seemed to leave the room happy enough so I don't suppose it mattered that I hadn't a clue about the content of their chatter. The laughter was all that was important.

All the typical things happened. Some new group called Side Effects made their initial performance. Their audience of one (ME, of course) tried to ignore them, but finally called for the nurse who promptly drugged them. They were the cutest little guys, but their mothers gave them the goofiest names, like Jaw Pain, Head Ache, and Red Face. Finally it dawned on me! They were born on a reservation! Except for the one guy, DyArya. I suspect he was born in a public restroom someplace.

Well we all mixed until we were thoroughly mixed up. After that I began to make a great effort to make friends with Flo. I tried to bring her in on the humorfest, but she was stone cold quiet and was quite comfortable just hanging around. Actually, I don't have much hope that she will ever warm up. So we finally gave up and when we got home we put her guts in the refrigerator. Nobody else was using that room anyway, except for Chicken Little and a dozen of her eggs. I think they'll all get along fine unless I get sloppy and try to attach a drumstick to the pump one day.

We'll talk again in the morning. I have sleeping to do now. They didn't offer much of that to me in the hospital.

 


LIFE WITH FLO: The Series

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