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LIFE WITH FLO: The Series PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 NEXT
July 24, 2004 - Part 23
It is with mixed emotions that Flo and I announce that tonight is, in all probability, our last chance to chat with you for a couple of weeks. Although the movers do not actually have us penciled in for another week yet, tomorrow is a RED LETTER DAY for us. Yep! We finally get to use our Get Out of Jail Free card and end this intolerable ISOLATION. You see, within the next 15 hours Flo and I will make the trek to the airport to pick up my dearest friend so she can be here in my very house to help me survive the last week of moving. As I'm sure you know, Regular Issue Friends would not make such a sacrifice, and that's how I know this friend has achieved"Dearest Friend Status". And I believe anyone whogets to have a friend from that most coveted list is indeed a lucky duck, sothis is why I've been quacking up a lot lately. Now, please understand, Flo and I did NOT invite her here to help pack. In fact, we are now 97.2% packed, if you don't count Flo's belongings. Yep. We are finally at that packing point where nearly all common and useful objects are now hidden inside opaque, and inadequately labeled, cardboard boxes which are taped well enough to require a buzz saw to open them. My son needed two items this evening before he could leave the house for a farewell party being given in his honor. He was mildly upset over item (1), his misplaced car keys, but over item (2), a single, yet not to be found, rubber band to put around his stack of CDs, he had a MAJOR MELTDOWN! I can't blame him though. In some ways our efforts to prepare for this move HAVE proven overzealous. Yesterday we packed one of the cats. But one thing we know for sure around here now is: If you can't find something, it's not LOST, it's PACKED. So, why DID we invite my friend here if the packing is all done, you ask? Simple. To help me wrap up the Last Minute Details. And the Last Minute Details list is very long indeed. First, there are the important details, like attending the House Closing, the Final Signing of the long awaited Final Papers of the Final Annulment, and supervising the Moving Men on Moving Day so as to make absolutely sure they DON'T leave any of the opaque, inadequately labeled, cardboard boxes behind. And even more importantly, to make sure they DO leave the city trash can, and the neighbor's dog, behind. So, after taking care of the important details on the Last Minute Details list, there should still be time to take care of the MORE important details, which include such essentials as coloring my hair, getting an updated, classy haircut, catching a movie where we can both laugh enough to forget we have any troubles, and enjoying dinner together at any restaurants I may have missed during my stay here......you know......IMPORTANT STUFF. As far as Flo is concerned, even in the middle of all this turmoil, she seems to be settling in amazingly well. Her RASH behavior is finally under control. However, Flo DID end up going through a bout of betadine withdrawal, but after two weeks in Rehab, and a 12 Step Program, she's doing just fine. Our new dance step with Nanogram #15, now named the Slow Titrate Waltz, is working so well it deserves a prize for turning down the volume of The Side Effects. Yep. I estimate their decibels have dropped by 78.2%! It's not that they don't play here anymore, it's just that they seem to kind of show up only "now and then", "here and there", "on and off", "more or less". Do you see what I mean? Well, this all reminds me of ANOTHER somewhat related story I have to tell you. I NEVER, in a MILLION YEARS, thought this would happen. But yesterday the phone rang. It was a young man. AND IT WAS FOR FLO! You could have knocked me over with her tubing! After her conversation she explained the call was from her BOYFRIEND! Can you believe this?! She claims to have met him at the grocery store, while I was busy checking prices and filling my cart. She says they have a lot in common because he loves working in the Frozen Food Department and the Dairy Case. This is simply unbelievable to me! HOWEVER, I have to admit, after learning his name, I finally can see how they get along so well. In fact, they go together just as well as Salt and Pepper, or Peanut Butter and Jelly, or Ham and Eggs. You see, it turns out his name is Ebb. So just like my new routine with The Side Effects, this new couple is most appropriately known as "Ebb and Flo".
LIFE WITH FLO: The SeriesPREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 NEXT
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