LIFE WITH FLO: The Series: Part 3

By Karen Waters

LIFE WITH FLO: The Series

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April 2, 2004 - Part 3

The fact that I was 'home alone' for the first of the eternal cassette changes was pretty frightening for Flo. In fact a chill went up her spine when she heard the turning of the screw. She started screaming something about a clamp. I told her to knock it off. I was reading the instructions as fast as I could, and when I got to the clamps section I would do something about it! With that she started screaming for the nurse and was not pleased when I responded "You're lookin' at her honey". Ahhh.....so little training.......so many procedures. Just wait until she gets a load of today's agenda. Don't tell her this, but it's line, pump, and dressing change day!

You have to understand that Flo is a very unique individual. Even the nurses who "know about PH" on the hospital floor earlier this week seemed somewhat unfamiliar with her. For instance, on day two of my stay a 1940s era nurse came bouncing into my room with a list of things "we" were going to do today. I instantly felt five years old again. She actually said---and I kid you not---"Since you are now on your medicine, and are feeling much better, you are going to get out of that bed, take a shower, etc,etc, etc, and blah, blah, blah". There was more, but I couldn't hear her over the performing Side Effects group I told you about before. Nurse1940 didn't pay much attention to them of course, because after all, I was ON THE MEDICINE now. I can only conclude from this experience that for the rest of my life I will be explaining Flo and her idiot-syncrocies to all who cross my path. I've heard a rumor that I will also have to take great care to protect her. I hear that her personality tends to put medical folks into a mood where they just want to turn her off, especially during emergencies. And we simply can't have that, now can we.

Some of Flo's friends from the reservation found her new address and have come for a visit. I think the one guy, Jaw Pain, brought his bags. You don't suppose he's planning to LIVE here, do you? I called the Bureau of Reservation Affairs, but they didn't know what I was talking about. I may as well have been speaking near Chinese! So, I don't have a clue as to WHAT his agenda is, but I'm getting suspicious it has something to do with food because I notice he only shows up for meals. I've asked Flo about him, but she just stares back and gives me an icy snicker.

Now, please understand, Flo has her good points. Last night was a good example. Flo joined the entire family for our evening couch potato exercise. It was during this time I decided to demonstrate for Flo the use of my friend Oximeter. To my surprise Oximeter was able to reach numbers he hadn't accomplished in a very long time! He tried out 96, then 97, and best of all 98!!! So we talked to my other friend Oxygen Tank, and gave him our regrets that we might not be needing so much of him around here any more! We reduced his dose from 3L to 2L and Oximeter calmly remained at 92 and above for the rest of the evening. I shed a tear and gave Flo a great big hug.

LIFE WITH FLO: The Series

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